Am I the only one who felt like this year just flew by? I know I’m not. I’m not sure if it’s being a mother or not but I feel like time flies by so much faster now. I genuinely feel like Charlie was just born yet she’s one. 2018 was here before I knew it. 2017 was a pretty great year but we also had some small setbacks. It was the first year I actually capitalized my blog full-time, Charlie turned one and experienced so many new firsts, Matt’s business hit their numbers, and we took a few trips. On the downside, Matt also broke his shoulder, a bird randomly flew in the house, Keatyn brought lice home from school and momma got sick a lot. All in all, still pretty lucky. In this year I have also grown a lot and wanted to share some of my not only new year resolutions but life resolutions I think everyone should truly benefit from.
- Toxic Relationships. Say goodbye. Listen I’m honestly the nicest person in the world so it’s really hard for me to do this as well. I never want to come off as being mean. But YOU have to take care of YOU. Whether it’s a boyfriend/girlfriend who is sucking the life out of you and making life miserable, a friend who is negative nonstop, a social media “friend” you follow that makes you feel blah after you read their posts, you’ve gotta let go. These people take so much from you even if you don’t notice it. It’s draining for your soul. Misery loves company. Do yourself a favor and take a step back. You don’t even have to cut them out of your life immediately but you definitely need to create some distance. Trust me I cut out some people this year and it feels so good.
- Comparison. I do it, you do it, everyone does it. You see the girl on social media with the perfect hair and makeup, dressed to the nines every day, her kids are perfect along with it seems everything else in her life. So you start to doubt yourself and feel like you’re not enough. If only you could be like her, she has it all together. Hey guess what? Maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t? She could choose to get up at 6 am before the kids wake up to get dolled up, she could have a nanny. Also everyone’s life circumstances are different. She could have a ton of help where as someone like me has no one here to help me along with a baby. I know when it was just Keatyn and I it was a lot easier to get ready and focus more on myself. Then I threw a baby in the mix and it just went all to hell. Social media is awesome because you get to connect with so many different people but it also creates self-doubt because you compare yourself so much. As someone who is on social media A LOT, I’m here to tell you that it a facade. Everyone puts their best foot forward on social media. Focus on you, less on them. YOU are ENOUGH.
- Communication. This is so key in every relationship. In friendships, with family and most importantly your partnership. I’m guilty of not focusing on this in previous relationships and I know it was a huge factor in why it didn’t work out. With Matt I have made it vitally important to communicate with him when I am upset or how I am feeling. Humans aren’t telepathic, we can’t read your thoughts. We are often guilty of expecting our partner of knowing what is wrong with us without telling them. Same goes with friendship… we build up so much frustration with our friends and things that annoy us that it drives us crazy. I’m making it a point to be more vocal when I’m frustrated with my loved ones this year and moving forward. I hope you do as well.
- Re-evaluate Your Priorities. Two of my biggest pet peeves are materialistic people and people who brag, which sort of go hand in hand a lot. I love this saying – If material things are what you’re talking about when you say, “I’m blessed”, you have no idea what a blessing is. When you are old and looking back on your life, these things aren’t gonna matter. The type of car you drove, how big your house is, how many nice pieces of jewelry you own, that your husband or brother is friends with this celebrity etc. None of this is truly important in life. If you have these things then good for you but you can’t take any of those with you in the coffin. What you truly will cherish in your final moments are the memories with your loved ones, the experiences that made you, the many trips to the beautiful places the world has to offer. If you truly think the possessions you own or the “important” people you know and want to name drop make you look cool, you are very mistaken. It comes off as insecure. Focus on what truly matters, like friends and family.
- Focus more on family & quality friendships. Speaking of friends and family…this one a BIGGIE. When I think of the most important moments in my life, my family always comes to mind first. Why is it that we spend so much time trying to please others outside of our immediate circle? I’m 100% dedicating more time to the people who matter in my world. I used to feel that I had to go to this event and that event to stay relevant and ended up sacrificing time with my family. I took a long hard look at the full picture and realized none of that stuff was important. The events and all of those people will be there when my children are too big to want me around. For now, while they are small, I am going to savor each moment snuggling them, playing with them, having movie nights, doing arts & crafts, letting them sneak in my bed. Because the truth is each and every one of those things will eventually happen for the last time and that will be heart breaking for me. I’ll have all the time in the world to go to events or travel but the whole time I’ll be thinking back on the best moments of my life with my babies. Cherish the good friends. Time is short. It’s not meant to be spent trying to please everyone. Invest in the people who have proven to that they are worth it. As a mom of two littles who can’t go out all the time like I used to, I have really realized who is a true friend. The ones who aggressively try to set up dinner or lunch dates just to see you, the ones who come over with dinner and wine because they know you can’t go out, the ones who offer to watch your children for you when they know you’ve just hit your limit. Yeah those are my people. When you reach a certain age you realize it’s not about the quantity of friendships, it’s the quality. I want long-term friendships, ones who I can take family vacations with and celebrate holidays together. Touching back on the toxic people, life just isn’t meant to spend miserable so let go of the things and people who do not bring you joy.
- Be Present. One of the things that annoys me to no end is when my husband comes home from being at work all day and doesn’t put down his dang phone. Think of all the times electronics get in our way. Do you bring you phone to dinner with your partner or with friends? You think just a glance or two won’t matter but unless it’s urgent it is kind of disrespectful. I’m guilty too, trust me. It’s really hard nowadays to disconnect. At every family gathering now I just look around at all of us on our phones or tablets. I’m not saying get rid of them but maybe dedicate allotted time to unplug and enjoy each other’s company. I work from my phone so I do find myself on it a lot while caring for my children so I’ve really tried to disconnect when they’re awake. As for my husband I’m making it a rule that for an hour each night no phones are allowed.
- Your health, inside and out. I really fell off the wagon after being pregnant with Charlie. I used to be hardcore in the gym and eating healthy. I’ve really let myself go and need to get back on track. Fitness is so important but it’s so hard to find the time with kids and work. Especially the baby because I’m anxious about putting her in the daycare at the gym. I am looking for a few workouts to do at home (See my BodyBoss post here) but am also considering doing the whole 6 am workouts before Keatyn goes to school. Even more important than working on the physical aspects of our bodies, we need to keep them healthy from the inside out. You can do that by eating clean as much as possible, taking supplements, sleeping 8 hours per night, limiting alcohol intake etc. I’ll be teaming up with a health expert and posting a separate post next week on wellness and ways to jumpstart in the new year.
- Take care of your skin. I wish I would’ve known in my 20’s how important this truly is. Not only to stay out of the sun as much as possible but to practice good skin care like sun screen, drinking enough water, a good skin care regime. See these previous posts on SUNSCREEN, MORNING SKIN CARE ROUTINE, NIGHT TIME SKIN ROUTINE. I’m 34 and the best thing I ever did was start a skin care regime earlier on. I’m not gonna lie, I used to be a sun worshipper long before I knew better but I learned my lesson.
- Knowing your worth. This is regarding anything but especially work and relationships. Stop selling yourself short. Stop letting your significant other talk to you in a demeaning way or put you through situations that you don’t deserve. Take it from someone who has been there, you are worth so much more. NO ONE deserves to be demeaned or mistreated. Now let’s talk about work…stop letting people in your work place make you feel less than, stop being scared to ask for that promotion because you don’t feel like you’re good enough. YOU ARE. Please don’t be afraid to ask for what you deserve.
I hope you guys love these new year resolutions of mine and hopefully practice them as well with me. I really feel like these are life resolutions that we should practice 24/7.
What about you? What are some of your New Year resolutions? Let me know int he comments below!