Have any of you ever figured out your language of love? I once had a friend explain it to me because she said that basically receiving gifts makes her feel loved. I was intrigued what mine would be so I took the test. Here is how you can figure out what makes your heart smile. Basically how you view being loved is broken into five different categories. I’m basically going to summarize them in Ashley lingo.
1. Words of Affirmation – “I love you” “You are appreciated” Unsolicited compliments mean everything to you. You need to hear I love you and the reason why you are loved. When you are insulted or put down, you are shattered.
2. Quality Time – If this is your love language you want nothing more than the one you love to be present. No phones, no computer, no tasks to complete. You want their full undivided attention and to just spend time together. If you get stood up on a date or a meeting comes before you, that is extremely hurtful.
3. Physical touch – This doesn’t always mean sexual. A caress of your arm, grabbing your hand in public, rubbing your back, or a kiss are all typical examples of this. You feel loved when you are being touched and you feel rejected if you are not being touched.
4. Receiving Gifts – This is pretty self-explanatory but it doesn’t always mean you are a materialistic person who thrives off having gifts given to them. It doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant presents. You feel loved if someone thought of you enough to take time out of their schedule to get you something that they thought you would like, or put great thought into a birthday/anniversary gift. Or if someone went on a trip and brought you back a memento. In retrospect, it also can hurt you deep if one were to forget to get you a gift for an anniversary or birthday.
5. Acts of Service – We all can appreciate when our loved one help us out with tasks. Your love language shows it is important for someone to take on responsibilities that cause you anxiety or stress. If your husband or wife vacuums, washes the dishes, cleans your car, puts the kid to bed, etc. you feel loved in return. You also feel disappointed and unloved if your partner is lazy and doesn’t help you do anything task related.
Ok personally my top 3 in order were Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Quality Time. That comes as no shock to me. Especially married to an extremely busy husband with a three-year old at home. Life feels hectic, you just want to know someone cares sometimes. I’m gonna give my insight to a few gifts you could give your loved one or hint at your loved one that you would appreciate. Heck forward my post over to them, they’ll get the hint 🙂
Words of Affirmation:
- Write a love letter. Tell them all the things that made you fall in love with them and makes you continue to fall every single day.
- Make them a calendar with all the special dates that mean something to the two of you, including special photos coordinating with the months they occurred in.
- Personalize a coffee mug or wine bottle with words of love.
- Make them a Buzzfeed post. All the reasons they are the best. Genius.
- Arrange a special day or night for the two of you. Plan every detail to make it special. Turn your phone off, give your partner EVERY bit of your attention.
- Have a movie night and cook your partner dinner. Again, TURN OFF YOUR PHONE.
Physical Touch: Ok this one makes me blush to explain but I will say this…carve out a “special night” with your partner. Give them a massage, kiss them, take a bubble bath together. Like I said before this doesn’t always have to be sexual. It could be as simple as making it a point to be more affectionate. I have personally had to do this myself because this is my husband’s love language. I am by default not a very affectionate person but I know he is, so I go the extra mile to make him feel loved by kissing him often or stroking his hand sporadically to show I care.
Receiving Gifts: Again, do not think this just means spending money on your partner and they will be happy. They won’t. Put thought into it.
- Get your lady specific flowers you know she loves or a specific with she has been dropping hints about.
- Get your guy that wallet he won’t stop talking about or his favorite scotch.
- I personally like a trip you bought for the two of you, a cabin in the woods or a beach getaway.
- Love coupons. This is my favorite. They can include a movie of your choice, dinner at your favorite restaurant, the weekend getaway mentioned above, a shopping trip etc.
Acts of Service: Do things you know your partner would greatly appreciate or that would alleviate stress for them. Humans are prone to let stress get the best of them. As a mother and wife I feel like I am constantly cleaning up everyone else’s mess or eating my dinner cold every night while taking care of my family’s needs.
- Wash & vacuum their car
- Clean the house
- Take care of the kids for the day if you have them and send your loved one on a spa day or let them hole up in their room to have me time of their choosing.
- Finish their list of task to complete.
- Make coupons for that as well if they cannot be completed that weekend. Such as “IOU to plant flowers in the spring or trim the hedges etc”
Keep in mind all of these are examples, but in general we all just want to feel loved. We all just want to be made to feel special and appreciated. Anything you do to go above and beyond for your significant other and show you care will make them happy. Just give them the attention they deserve….and REMEMBER to not just instill these thoughtful gestures on Valentine’s day but regularly because who are we kidding….VALENTINE’S DAY is just a day people. LOVE is everyday.
Hope you beautiful souls have a wonderful Valentine’s day with your loved ones!